


The Queen of Coupling

by KISSwift



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Matchmaker Brittany
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:43:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KISSwift/pseuds/KISSwift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Brittany, dubbing herself the Queen of Coupling, decides to get her favorite glee club pairs, past and present, together. Obviously you only have to go into detail on how she makes Blam happen, but to mention your preferable pairings (or mine, *cough* Puckleberry, Quartie *cough*) also is most definitely encouraged.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Queen of Coupling

Brittany S. Pierce wasn’t the smartest person in the room. Even she would admit it at times when she wasn’t hyped up from Britney Spears music or getting a near perfect score on her SAT’s. Her brain didn’t understand things like maths and English the same way other peoples did which often got her labelled with the word ‘dumb.’

But while Brittany did have a different way of thinking about things that did not help her in her classes it did make her smart in a completely different way. Combining her unique intellect with the amount of relationships she had personally been in gave way to one of the most emotionally sensitive person on the planet.

It was how she knew exactly when Santana needed to talk about her feelings and how she had known exactly what would help Blaine Warbler when he had been depressed about Kurt. It was also how she knew who in the Glee club past and present _should_ be dating each other. And she was determined to make them happen before she graduated.

Once upon a time Kurt and Blaine had been perfect for each other but she had seen how gradually the pressure of such a relationship being long distance had built up on Blaine. As much as she knew they wanted each other back they would just end up in the same situation again. And that wasn’t good for either them especially Blaine Warbler who had taken the break up harder than Kurt.

At first it was hard finding another person that he would be perfect with knowing that it had to be a unicorn or bicorn and there weren’t many of those about. Well none that admitted to it anyway. Some people were obvious; I mean Puckleberry were obviously meant to be even if they lived in different states now and Quartie should have started dating last year. The whole Quoe and Sugartie incidents had been disasters. Everyone knew that Jim and Sugar should be the ones together. It was fairly obvious seeing as they were always absent at the same time from Glee club.

The newbies were pretty much sorted as Jarley had sorted themselves out and were doing great. She still had to give Kyder a final push but they were getting close enough without her assistance so far. She had more urgent cases to handle like somehow getting Tina to have a real conversation with Mike so Tike could be on again.

That left her with Blaine Warbler, Sammy, Kurt, Mercedes, Santana and Unique not in relationships. Samcedes would have at one point been the perfect pairing but that was ruined now so Brittany wasn’t getting involved in a hopeless case. In fact she wasn’t sure what to do for Mercedes, Kurt or Unique but she supposed they would meet who they were supposed to be with by themselves. She couldn’t help absolutely everyone get together.

This logically left her with Blam. She knew Blaine Warbler had a crush on Sammy which was a good start. And the pair were basically acting like a couple already except from the kissing. And the kissing was the best part. Besides she knew that Sammy was really a bicorn like her. He just hadn’t admitted to it yet. And that was going to be the main obstacle on the road to Blam. It might be hard to get Sam to admit that he was attracted to Blaine at all.

Months passed and she tried everything to try and get the boys to get together. She made allusions to Sam’s nature as a bicorn in front of Blaine to see how he’d react but Blaine and Sam both seemed to think she was joking. She’d tried to get them to spend more time around each other to see if that worked but it didn’t help that they spent most of their free time together anyway. She had never expected that it would be this hard. After all she had managed to get Tina to talk to Mike on the phone again and had thought that was the hardest piece of matchmaking she would have to do.

Tike had gotten back together within two weeks of that phone call which was what Brittany called a success story. She’d also finally managed to give Kyder the shove they needed to start dating having been fed up of how slow they were taking it on their own. Honestly why could none of these people see that they’d be much happier if they just dated the person they were supposed to. Sugar and Jim (she wasn’t sure why he insisted his name was Joe) were also easy enough to get together by getting Jim to send her presents. Sugar loved anyone who spent money on her as long as the gifts were extravagant enough.

That left her with the ever difficult Blam (honestly who when trapped in the supply closet sat and planned prom as the other person called the janitor to get them out. The whole point of supply closets was to make out in them) and the more difficult couples who were separated by state. But they were all coming back to watch Regionals so Brittany knew exactly what she had to do. Spin the bottle! If it had gotten Blaine Warbler to make out with a girl it could do anything. Even better. She should make it Seven Minutes In Heaven.

She fired off a quick text to everyone in the Glee club past and present telling them to meet her for a party at her house a couple of nights before Regionals. She just had to hope that Lord Tubbington didn’t crash the party along with his gang. She didn’t need the cat mafia in her house when she was trying to matchmake. In the end everyone but Jarley said they would come as Jarley were going out on a date that day that they didn’t want to cancel. That was acceptable of course. Brittany wasn’t going to get in the way of one of her beloved couples. Especially the only one that had required no assistance from her whatsoever.

~#~#~

The party eventually rolled around and once everybody had a couple of drinks in them Brittany brought up playing Seven Minutes In Heaven. There was no point of mentioning it before that as she knew some people would disagree. The alcohol influenced them enough that they thought it was a great idea. They sat down in a circle and Brittany told them seriously, “we’re going to have to use the bedroom instead of the cupboard because Artie’s robot chair won’t fit in there.”

She was the first one to spin the bottle and despite her matchmaking duties was still thrilled when she got to make out with Blaine for seven minutes. He was the only guy in the school she had never kissed and she knew he became a bicorn when he was drunk so he would even enjoy it. When the pair emerged from the room when the seven minutes were up Brittany was grinning like the cat who got the canary and Blaine looked much less put together than normal with his curls gradually coming loose from the gel he imprisoned them in most of the time. Through the catcalls coming from some members of the circle (mainly Puck) Brittany noticed that Sam looked rather jealous of Brittany as he stared at Blaine intensely. She knew alcohol and jealousy would do the job just fine.

Blaine landed Kitty on his next spin who was more than happy to make out with him before landing her boyfriend on the next spin. The cycle continued with Sam and Ryder, Ryder and Tina and Tina and Quinn having to make out. Then finally she got another one of her match ups as the bottle aligned with Artie when Quinn spun it. Quinn looked rather surprised while Artie looked more than happy to be paired with her. The pair came out significantly more mussed than anyone else so far and Brittany was sure she spotted a hickey on Artie’s neck. It looked like Quartie was officially a go. She ended up having to make out with Artie next and she definitely missed something because by the time she got back Sam had moved so he was sitting directly next to Blaine from across the circle. She considered this progress as she spun the bottle and was lucky enough to land Santana. She was thrilled at the prospect of getting her girl kisses on and the pair had to be pulled out of the room when seven minutes had passed. Santana was not at all thrilled to land Sam on her next spin and she wasn’t sure how much actual making out had gone out in the room on that turn. But she would overlook this infraction of the rules just this once.

She was disappointed that neither Puck nor Rachel had been picked even once so far which meant that she hadn’t been able to get Puckleberry on even though the two were laughing together at some of the faces of people in the circle. Although she was soon distracted from that when the bottle landed on Blaine and Sam practically dragged him off to the bedroom.

~#~#~

The next day saw Sam and Blaine walking hand in hand down the halls of McKinley obviously having sorted out their relationship the previous night. They weren’t kissing in the halls or anything but it was obvious that something had changed between them to everyone. Even if it wasn’t the hand holding was kind of a giveaway.

Brittany ran up to them giving them both a hug at the same time before standing back practically jumping from happiness. “This is the best day ever,” Brittany said enthusiastically, “all my couples are together now. Quartie have been together all day except when Artie is in class and I caught Puckleberry making out at the end of the party last night and now you guys are together too.”

“Brittany have you been matchmaking?” Sam said amused. He wasn’t judging her for doing it. Hell he’d like to thank her because without her he knew he’d never have admitted to the feelings that he had for Blaine. He doubted he’d have realised he had feelings for him in the first place as it had first hit him when Blaine was off making out with her.

“Of course,” Brittany replied, “the everyone here has been dating the wrong people but I fixed it. Jarley fixed themselves and they are so cute and Kyder didn’t take me very long along with Sugar/Jim (I haven’t got a couple name for them yet). Then I got Tike, Puckleberry and Quartie together because they couldn’t see past their states and now I finally got Blam together.”

“Well it sounds like you’ve been busy,” Blaine said with a smile, “Now what do you say we work together to get Brittana back together again. I know you still love Santana and it’s fairly obvious that she still loves you back.

“Really?!” Brittany exclaimed thankful for the help, “thank you Blaine Warbler!”

“Well somebody has to help matchmake the matchmaker,” Sam chimed in, “and who better than us. We’ve been getting things done all year.”

“And speaking of that,” Blaine commented, “we need to take you shopping for a prom dress. Because I found this store that basically has the perfect dresses for you and Tina.”

“Is it the one that only unicorns can see?” Brittany asked grabbing hold of Blaine’s hand and pulling him down the hall excitedly, “because if it is I’m not sure how we’ll get Tina to come in.”

Sam smiled after them appreciating just how much his life had changed during his senior year. He had made one of the closest friends he would ever have and now that friend was finally his boyfriend thanks to a certain meddling ex-girlfriend. He was fairly certain that everything was going to turn out okay. And if it ever looked like someone needed matchmaking again they now knew who to call. He was sure Brittany wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to do this again.


End file.
